“If you were craving nachos, would you go to a Chinese restaurant?”

Diana Renee Williams

My favorite blog this week is Christine Hassler’s, “Are You Asking for the Right Thing From the Wrong Person?”

Christine asks, “If you were craving nachos, would you go to a Chinese restaurant?”

No, of course you wouldn’t…or would you?   If you are anything like me then maybe you would.  Why do we do this in personal relationships?  The people or places we go to may not even have what we are craving on the menu.

They may be physically incapable of delivering what we want either because they lack the ingredients, tools or equipment to deliver.  Instead of leaving frustrated, unsatisfied or offended then go where you know you will get what  you want.

I often find myself craving nourishment in the way of inspiration and encouragement but often times leave certain people feeling very unsatisfied.  Sharing with others and telling them what I need opens myself up for criticism and sets the other person up for failure if they don’t have what I need so it’s a lose-lose game.

This is unfair to both parties and does nothing to enhance the relationship.  I think the fear of opening up and asking for what I need has blinded me to the fact that I need to know what I am craving before I place my order.

My experience so far has been rather surprising. Turns out I have been at the Chinese restaurant ordering nachos.

I have found the people I felt certain would be supportive (especially other “creative” types) WERE NOT and those I thought couldn’t even begin to understand what I wanted have been the ones who offered me the most support and gave me the best dishes.

So in an attempt to get what I want in the future, I’ve laid out my own personal cravings and menu options and would encourage you to do the same.

My personal menu options:

If I need emotional support?

My two closet friends give me emotional support.  They both know me very well and know my motto, “variety is the spice of life.”  They not only accept this about me but knowingly or unknowingly help me try new things.  If you are going to bare it all make sure it is with people that want you to succeed or else over sharing could lead to severe indigestion .

If I need encouragement?

My guy friends give me the most encouragement which totally surprises me.  Maybe this is their speciality and I can live with that. Guys cut to the chase and don’t spend a lot of time over-analyzing the menu options so they are able to offer simple suggestions that pair nicely with my indecisiveness.

If I need guidance and advice?

My bestie is top chef in this category again with my Mom also offering her recipes (the good ones and the bad ones) for future generations to share.

Surprisingly, the children in my life have been super awesome and have given me the most creative dishes yet.  They say, “out of the mouth of babes,” and I suppose their innocence and child like ways leave them with the most creative freedoms and ideas.  How ironic to me! Who knew they had the right ingredients to whip it up and dish it out?

If I need feedback?

The editors and writers I am working with have offered me the feedback that I am craving.  I have found myself looking for feedback from family and friends but realize when they give me the Peking Duck instead of the nachos, I find offense which may be too much for my taste.  Stick with those people that are creating the same dish.

So, as I place my order out into the Universe for acknowledgment and inspiration, I will accept my culinary artists for who they are and what they have to offer.

What are your menu options? Are you asking for the right thing from the wrong person?

Happy weekend & mucho love!

Check out Christine Hassler’s blog…. http://thedailylove.com/are-you-asking-for-the-right-thing-from-the-wrong-person/

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Take the Underground Railroad!

by Preston Smiles

The underground railroad was famous for freeing many slaves, and Harriet Tubman said she would’ve freed many more if they only knew they were slaves. “IF” they only knew; wow, so powerful. We can’t heal what we can’t see, and for me this was a huge lesson that I am in the process of learning. Aristole said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” If we are what we repeatedly do….what exactly, then, are we doing?

So many of us don’t notice the perpetual habits we have that bind us to a slow, stagnate death.

So what exactly are these unconscious habits? I had to ask myself and i challenge you to ask yourself “What am i a slave to?” Because whatever it is that binds you, actually holds the key to your true freedom. Is it Facebook, twitter, instragram, snap-chat, HIM/HER (BIG ONE), politics, being worthy, porn, fear of failure, or fear of succeeding? Whatever it is, I promise you that if you unleash the invisible chains, on the other side is pure magic, on the other side is the REAL YOU.

I was in a “relationship” 2 years ago with someone who’s last words to me were “I’m in love with you but I’m getting back with my ex boyfriend.” A tough pill to swallow. And for a whole year I obsessed about how she was really my wife; that the universe got it wrong and eventually we would end up back together. I couldn’t see that I was flipping the universe off, I couldn’t see that I was a a slave to the idea of us together…of US being IT. And the more she stayed away the more it drove me crazy. I WAS A SLAVE.

The beautiful part is I had just enough sense and spiritual fortitude to know that there had to be more. So for a year I just laughed and noticed the stories running through my head, all the while knowing that my queen, would come when I was ready to be free of the old idea of what and who “she” was. So I chose new habits like not stalking her instragram, twitter and Facebook; like giving myself permmission not to know what she was up to.

And just like a bodybuilder builds muscle, I started loving myself at levels I could’ve never imagined. I started viewing the break up as a gift. And then one day I got a message from a Queen that said, “hey I’m in london and a friend of a friend says I’m the female version of you.” I noticed her, but I was also so secure with who I was that I trusted we would meet if it was meant for us to meet.

Three weeks later, I went on a first date with a woman I knew energetically wasn’t for me. Instincts kicked in and my gut told me I had to go. We went to a small poetry show, and of course two seats away from me was the Queen from the London message Alexi, in the flesh. It was immediate magic. Since that day we’ve enjoyed sharing our wholeness with each other. She is more than I could’ve ever imagined in a partner, as my boys and I like to say, she’s a “game changer.” In my opinion and this is just opinion, there is an intelligence that can orchestrate happenings, circumstances and events that we could never do on our own, and this intelligence has stuff in-store for us that is far beyond our mortal minds but it is awaiting our alignment with our true selves.

I share all this to say that when we partake in habits that our out of alignement with our true selves and desires, we will keep getting what doesn’t work for us. But when we are aligned with our desires and true worth the universe is able to make a way out of no way.

Many of us have huge dreams, but they can’t happen if we’re spending our time with people, places and things that are enslaving us. Your dreams await your alignment. (Tweet-worthy!) You’re a magical snowflake that will never be repeated, so stand in your uniqueness and claim all that is yours by birthright.

Love,

Preston Smiles #lovesVoice #thelovemob

Preston Smiles is a motivational messenger, founder of the Love Mob (organized acts of Love) and a multimedia inspirational content creator. Connect with him via his website, Facebook and Twitter.