Diana Renee Williams
My favorite blog this week is Christine Hassler’s, “Are You Asking for the Right Thing From the Wrong Person?”
Christine asks, “If you were craving nachos, would you go to a Chinese restaurant?”
No, of course you wouldn’t…or would you? If you are anything like me then maybe you would. Why do we do this in personal relationships? The people or places we go to may not even have what we are craving on the menu.
They may be physically incapable of delivering what we want either because they lack the ingredients, tools or equipment to deliver. Instead of leaving frustrated, unsatisfied or offended then go where you know you will get what you want.
I often find myself craving nourishment in the way of inspiration and encouragement but often times leave certain people feeling very unsatisfied. Sharing with others and telling them what I need opens myself up for criticism and sets the other person up for failure if they don’t have what I need so it’s a lose-lose game.
This is unfair to both parties and does nothing to enhance the relationship. I think the fear of opening up and asking for what I need has blinded me to the fact that I need to know what I am craving before I place my order.
My experience so far has been rather surprising. Turns out I have been at the Chinese restaurant ordering nachos.
I have found the people I felt certain would be supportive (especially other “creative” types) WERE NOT and those I thought couldn’t even begin to understand what I wanted have been the ones who offered me the most support and gave me the best dishes.
So in an attempt to get what I want in the future, I’ve laid out my own personal cravings and menu options and would encourage you to do the same.
My personal menu options:
If I need emotional support?
My two closet friends give me emotional support. They both know me very well and know my motto, “variety is the spice of life.” They not only accept this about me but knowingly or unknowingly help me try new things. If you are going to bare it all make sure it is with people that want you to succeed or else over sharing could lead to severe indigestion .
If I need encouragement?
My guy friends give me the most encouragement which totally surprises me. Maybe this is their speciality and I can live with that. Guys cut to the chase and don’t spend a lot of time over-analyzing the menu options so they are able to offer simple suggestions that pair nicely with my indecisiveness.
If I need guidance and advice?
My bestie is top chef in this category again with my Mom also offering her recipes (the good ones and the bad ones) for future generations to share.
Surprisingly, the children in my life have been super awesome and have given me the most creative dishes yet. They say, “out of the mouth of babes,” and I suppose their innocence and child like ways leave them with the most creative freedoms and ideas. How ironic to me! Who knew they had the right ingredients to whip it up and dish it out?
If I need feedback?
The editors and writers I am working with have offered me the feedback that I am craving. I have found myself looking for feedback from family and friends but realize when they give me the Peking Duck instead of the nachos, I find offense which may be too much for my taste. Stick with those people that are creating the same dish.
So, as I place my order out into the Universe for acknowledgment and inspiration, I will accept my culinary artists for who they are and what they have to offer.
What are your menu options? Are you asking for the right thing from the wrong person?
Happy weekend & mucho love!
Check out Christine Hassler’s blog…. http://thedailylove.com/are-you-asking-for-the-right-thing-from-the-wrong-person/